Hiring a coach is a commitment and an investment of time, energy and money. It should also be a time of excitement and possibility when you feel you might finally make some progress with the challenges you have been struggling with. All the more reason to make sure that you make the right choice and avoid some of the mistakes others have made when going down this road. I’m going to walk you through the top six in this post so you can make sure you start your coaching journey in the best possible way, and are set up for success.
Mistake 1 – Hiring a coach because someone else suggested it
Sometimes managers, L&D folk, friends or family suggest coaching as a way of helping you make the change you want and need. This could be improving your impact, enhancing your well-being, increasing your chances of promotion or changing direction in your career. These situations definitely lend themselves to coaching. However, unless your own heart really is in it, don’t bother. The process requires commitment, time, thought and effort. If you are ambivalent, it will probably be a waste of time – something you already lack.
How to protect yourself from the recommendations of others
Take heed of the advice of others but consider what you really want for yourself and what you are prepared to commit to. Take time to think through what you would really like to get out of the experience and the time you are willing to put into that. Make some notes on this or talk it through with someone you trust to make sure it is the right decision for you.
Mistake 2 – Saying yes to coaching when you have zero capacity to follow through
There is no client I have ever worked with who has time on their hands! Everyone has more things to do than they have hours in the day. Most clients that come to me are struggling to juggle wellbeing and busyness. Entering a coaching relationship when you have no intention of creating time for the process will only result in frustration, sabotage results and add to your sense of pressure.
How to protect yourself from wasting your own precious time
Reflect on the benefits you could get from the process. Maybe it’s a sense of increased control; a clearer sense of purpose; a promotion; greater fulfilment in your life or work; better relationships; a new start. When you are clear about what it is for you, consider how much of a priority you are prepared to make this. I offer flexibility on frequency. For some it’s one hour per week or fortnight. For others 2 hours per month. You decide but then you make it a priority.
Mistake 3 – Falling for the over-promising coach
I remember a coach I met many years ago who gave me a free afternoon of coaching, then revealed an exceptionally high price tag and bombarded me with emails asking for me to sign up immediately by transferring money to him that day, while issuing incredible promises of transformation. I was going through a hard time and was desperate to believe in miracles. I came close to signing away a huge amount of money. No matter how brilliant the coach, they cannot do it for you.
How to protect yourself from the promises of the over-zealous coach
Do not allow yourself to be pressurised. Also, if you find a coach who says they guarantee you x, y or z results, be wary. Coaching is not formulaic. Its success depends on a number of factors, some of which relate to the coach, some to you and some to your circumstances. Ultimately it is you that will need to do the work. No coach can do it for you.
Mistake 4 – Not shopping around for the right coach
There are a lot of people out there these days calling themselves a coach. Their experience, approach and expertise vary hugely. The main vehicle for change in coaching is the relationship between you and the coach. It is so very important to get this right. Recommendations from others are great. But it is a very personal decision.
How to protect yourself from landing the wrong coach
Most coaches worth their salt offer a free chemistry call so you can explore for 30-60 mins whether you are a good fit. If this is not offered on their website or initial email, ask them for it. And don’t move ahead unless this is available to you. Ask them any question you want including their credentials, qualifications and experience. Also make sure you are never contractually tied into a whole programme from the outset. Check the contractual arrangement works for you.
Mistake 5 – Thinking coaching is just a cosy chat
People have varying views about what coaching is about. For me it is most definitely about making a big change, growing and overcoming challenges that are getting in the way of you thriving. Most change is hard and a rollercoaster. Support is key. But that’s not all of it.
How to protect yourself from disappointment
If you want a cosy chat, don’t choose a coach (or at least, not with Neon). If you want to step out of your comfort zone, be challenged and championed, have a mirror held up to you and be held to account for making the changes you want and need, choose coaching. You will not regret it. And finally, make sure you choose a coach who gives you a get out clause if it doesn’t work out. I would never force someone to complete a coaching programme with me if it wasn’t delivering results.
Mistake 6 – Believing virtual or in-person coaching is the only way
Some people, even before the pandemic, believed that online was no place for enriching, intimate conversations of the kind that coaching is made of. Much more coaching work took place in person then, even though much of my training underlined the value of using audio only in online coaching calls (allowing the client to be freed up from the need for eye contact). Then Covid pushed it all online and the case was proven that amazing relationships could be developed online.
How to protect yourself from assuming one way is best
Since Covid the pendulum has swung back to some degree. However convenience means many of my clients continue to opt for virtual coaching. I have recently started actively inviting clients to meet in-person again and many have accepted that invitation. Many also still choose a mix of the two. The fact is that both have their advantages and both work. Again, you get to choose. Think about what would work best for you, taking into consideration both convenience and impact. Experiment and find out what works best.
The conclusion and what now?
There you go. Now you understand some of the biggest mistakes people make when hiring a coach. Avoid these mistakes and save yourself time, money, frustration, and stress.
And remember, coaching is all about YOU. You choose, you decide, you get to do the work and you also get to enjoy the rewards.
If you would like my help to get clear on whether coaching is for you – with Neon or elsewhere – then click the link below and book a free call with me.