I was in my late 20s when I first heard about coaching. My mum mentioned that a friend of hers was training to be a life coach. I thought it sounded like a load of New Age garbage. The following decade, during my time at PA Consulting, I remember thinking that the folk in learning and development were fluffy and without much value (sorry if any of you are reading this). Not sure why I thought this. Pure bias and assumption, I think.
The next time I heard about coaching was in my early 40s in what turned out to be my final two years at PA. I was unsettled in my job and looking for inspiration and new direction. I had changed departments in the hope that would solve my unrest. It hadn’t. I had taken a ten-month sabbatical. That had made the situation worse, not better. Next up, I decided to attend a weekend introductory course in co-active coaching with the Coaches Training Institute. I attended purely out of curiosity and was keen to tell everyone there that it was not because I wanted to be a coach.
Little did I know what was to happen and how critical a role coaching was to have in creating a whole new chapter of my life and work, nor how much it was going to feature in that chapter – which is still unfolding now, twelve years later.
Coaching highlights
There are a few moments that stand out in my memory:
- An introductions exercise on the first day of the coaching course where, instead of telling people the usual ‘name, job, location’, we had to share with them ‘what do you long for?’. I remember feeling both surprised and moved by what I came out with and what I heard from others.
- A conversation late on in the training where I was asked to dream out loud about the kind of work and lifestyle that I really wanted for myself. I described an existence where I had lots of freedom and variety in my work, work I had a deeper sense of connection with, while also spending time travelling, singing, creating and doing other things I loved. This is the life I have now.
- A moment standing on a table (don’t ask!) in a small group of women facilitated by a wonderful woman who coached me for a while during that period, declaring I would leave my consulting job by the end of the year. Feeling terrified. And then resigning a few months later and doing exactly that.
- Doing an exercise in a leadership development programme which involved being in an imaginary lifeboat and pitching why I should be the one to be saved. I remember having very limited time to prepare and talking passionately about how, if saved, I would spray paint the world with colour, providing it with all the passion, aliveness and humanity it needed. This was the seed that became Neon.
It amazes me to remember these moments now, partly because they are still so clear. I can picture exactly where I was sitting or standing, who was there, how I felt. But also because it reminds me of how utterly pivotal they were to me creating a whole new beginning in my life. I left my corporate consulting job of ten years, started my own company and have gone from strength to strength ever since.
If you know me, this may come as a surprise. Many see me as capable, confident, bold and decisive. Did I really need a coach? I guess I am all of those things and still coaching was a game changer for me. Having someone at my back throughout, believing in me more than I believed in myself sometimes, was hugely helpful. They probed and probed into what I really wanted deep down. They held me to account for commitments I made. They challenged me to make decisions and take action, supporting me in moments of doubt and helping me unblock my own way when I got stuck, always holding my heart’s desire as strongly as if it were their own. Would I have managed without the coaching and the development programme? I honestly don’t know. Maybe I would. But maybe I would have wasted another good number of years of my life not knowing, not dreaming, not admitting and not daring. I had tried therapy, yoga holidays and travel! I had played around the edges and made tweaks. It was the coaching and development that took me to the next level.
Coaching is an investment in your happiness
1-1 coaching is an incredible investment to make in your own happiness and well-being. It’s true that it’s not cheap. It’s also true that finding the right person is crucial – and I may or may not be that person for you. But if you are feeling stuck, lost or overwhelmed; if you feel like you have lost your mojo in or out of work; if you are already navigating complex change in your life or are desperate for a new beginning that is crucial for your health and happiness, then contact me. If it’s not me, I can introduce you to someone that is. I promise you it will be worth it.
So are coaching and development New Age garbage, woke or a lifeline?
When I was returning home in a black cab the other night after the tube ground to a standstill, the cab driver asked me what I did for work. I told him I was a business and life coach. He immediately laughed and said;
“That’s what I would call a woke job”
He went on to explain what he meant. He said it was so important that there were people like me making sure that people in their jobs and in their lives had someone that cared for them and that could help them make sure things worked out well. I smiled from the back seat and concluded that if that was his definition, I was ok with that. I know that for me it has been a lifeline.
I coach people in early mid-life create new beginnings in life and work. If you are seeking life transition or career change, read more about us here and contact me for a free 30 minute ‘discovery’ call to see if I can help you re-find your mojo.