Are You Fit to Lead?

What Is Deeply Human® Leadership – And Why Does it Matter?

I describe my leadership philosophy as ‘Deeply Human®.’ Some don’t like the term. They find it too fluffy, too far removed from the ‘real world’ of organisational delivery and performance, and too alien to the mindset and language of the organisational cultures in which they work.

We discussed this at a recent meeting of the Deeply Human® Culture Club – the global community of people who share a belief in this approach to leading, which I set up in 2024. The discussion was about how we engage the sceptics in the conversation about changing the world of work to make it more people-focused, more sustainable and more impactful. The question of language came up. One person shared that a senior colleague of hers had immediately baulked at the Deeply Human® language, commenting:

‘Well of course, it’s ‘human’ leadership. We’re not animals!’

Misunderstanding the Human part of Deeply Human® Leadership

For me, this really misses the point for two reasons.

The first reason is that while we are indeed all human beings, many in leadership positions do not treat the people in their teams as such. They treat them like commodities, resources or machines, or rather treat them in a way that makes them feel like commodities, resources or machines. The usual result is the creation of ‘hamster wheel’ organisational cultures. These are cultures where people spin endlessly in frenetic circles of task and busyness, without much sense of creativity, connection or fulfilment, sometimes even without much sense of progress. Often they fall off the wheel at some point or another due to sickness, exhaustion and/or burnout. So yes, we are all humans, but we don’t necessarily treat our people as such.

The second reason it misses the point is that Deeply Human® leadership is not just about treating other people like humans. It is also about your own humanity being the source from which you lead. It is the deep well of your own humanity that is your greatest resource, your greatest asset and your greatest guide when it comes to leading well. This is a major part of the Neon leadership philosophy and one that is often missed or ignored completely. And it is here that the question of how fit you are to lead comes into play.

When You’re Not Fit to Lead

It strikes me that a large proportion of people are not actually fit to lead. Their humanity has been eroded, worn out or blown apart by some aspect of their lived experience. They are too exhausted, stressed and/or frustrated. The endless weeks, months and years of being on the hamster wheel have ground them down. It’s entirely understandable: it is impossible to maintain the rhythm of modern-day organisational life without suffering to some degree and having your vitality eroded. They are also often too angry, too consumed by their need for ‘success’, perhaps too competitive and more.

Not only does this not feel great for the individual, it also takes a toll on their patience, their tolerance and their ability to regulate their moods and internal states. It makes them more irritable, more likely to snap and to judge others. It makes them less likely to think creatively, less inclined to connect with others, or even be fully present when interacting with them. None of that makes for great leadership (or even for being a great colleague, to be honest).

The Three Layers of Deeply Human® Leadership that Make You Fit to Lead

The inner work of Deeply Human® leadership has three layers to it and here they are:

The Outer Layer: Vitality and Emotional Regulation

This is the layer most often talked about in health and wellbeing books on leadership. It is the one that has implications for how we look after ourselves on a daily basis; the amount of sleep we get, the food we eat and the practises we engage in (or not) that support our health and wellbeing. It is the amount of time we manage to spend off the Hamster Wheel and doing things that lift, rather than deplete our energy levels, how much water we drink and the degree to which we take responsibility for our health and wellbeing.

It is also just the outer layer of Deeply Human® leadership; an important one – and one that is often neglected – but still just the outer layer.

The Middle Layer: Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

The next layer down is the layer of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Again, we hear quite a lot about that thanks to Daniel Goleman in the main. We don’t necessarily see a lot of it in practice, but we know that in theory it’s important. In the Neon world, it is a non-negotiable for leaders.

If you do not have the capacity or willingness to understand yourself, the ways in which your ‘self’ shows up and impacts others; if you are not capable of noticing or taking into account the feelings of others around you, you should not be in a leadership position. Why? Because you are likely to be a liability to other people.

Some people are naturally more skilled in emotional intelligence. But the fact that some are less so should not be a reason for letting them off the hook for learning to get better. If you are in a leadership position, you have a major impact on those you lead. According to 2022 data from The Workforce Institute at UKG, the mental health of 70% of people is more impacted by their manager than it is by their therapist or doctor – and as impacted as it is by their partner or spouse. Take a moment to really take that in.

This fact requires you to develop an interest in your own personality and your ways of thinking, feeling and relating. It means you have an obligation to learn more about how you show up in the world, and to get better at managing your own state and personality, In this way you can do your job of bringing out the best in those you lead, and not end up being the additional thing which they have to manage in order to get through the day.

How do you do that? You hire a development coach or get a therapist, You can also sign up to some kind of leadership development programme that will work in-depth with you, help you increase your self-awareness, and give you the opportunity to practise empathy and tune into the needs and feelings of other people.

The Deepest Layer: Soul, Spirit and Essence

And still that isn’t the last stop. There is one final layer beneath, which I am going to call the level of the soul or spirit. This is the level of your deepest humanity where your capacity for love, compassion and creativity lies. This is the home of your ability to be truly alive to the world. It is here that your ability to be stirred by the roar of the ocean can be found, alongside your capacity to be moved to tears by a painting or a piece of music.

I think of it as your essence; it’s like the scent of the air in your home, or the smell of your skin. It’s baked into the energy you give off before you even open your mouth. It’s the soil of your personality, if you like, the earth that, when well cared for, contains all the minerals, nutrients, gases, water and biomes that are needed to make up your being and to maintain its health.

My belief is feeling ‘soul relaxed’ is an indication that the soil is well tended, well cared for and fertile for growth. When you are resting in that soil, you can open to life and to other people, you can soften and let your armour down, you can be creative and expansive with your heart and mind.

It is a wonderful place to be and from it beautiful things are born. It’s like the loop of the bubble blower from which multiple neon bubbles emerge effortlessly. It doesn’t mean, however, that you spend your time walking by the ocean and blowing bubbles in the park! It may be that strength, power, vision, focus, tough decisions or enduring resilience are required of you, but that fertile soil is the foundation that enables you to draw on whatever resources you need to be able to lead to best effect and respond to whatever the organisation needs from you.

Embodying The Five ‘Cs’ of Deeply Human® Leadership

I don’t believe that this place is one in which you can reside the whole time. Life is too full of triggers. But I do believe that you can invest the time and effort to cultivate the conditions for you to live in that place more often. And from that place, you are more capable of embodying The Five Cs of Deeply Human® Leadership:

– Clarity of Purpose

– Connection

– Consciousness

– Creativity

– Care.

You are more likely to provide inspiration to those that follow you and what you stand for. You are better placed to create connections and relationships that foster trust, respect and psychological safety. You are more likely to be sensitive to the impact you make. You are more likely to be able to create environments of hope and belief. And you are better placed to demonstrate care for your teams, as well as yourself (returning to the outer layer that I described above).

And that, my friends, is the state I stepped into during my recent time away in Sri Lanka. As a result, the constraints on my creativity were lifted, my anxiety fell away, my capacity for presence and contentment grew, my ability to let things go increased and I felt myself leaning fully into life. And from there my capacity for embodying The Five Cs of Clarity of Purpose, Connection, Consciousness, Creativity and Care (for myself and others) also blossomed.

Since being back, I have reached out to people I had been estranged from; I have written poems and songs; I have delivered a motivational speech that hit the spot in a relaxed state; I have delivered an inspiring session to a team I am working with; I have re-engaged with day-to-day life and work; and I have generated ideas for Neon. I think if there were one word to sum up this state of being, it would be ‘open’ – yes, a sense of profound openness.

Deeply Human®: Your Humanity Makes You Fit to Lead

Deeply Human® leadership is not just a way of doing or a technical set of skills. It is a way of being. It is about treating the people you lead as human beings, not machines. It is also about making sure that your own humanity is in good shape at all three layers; the outer layer of vitality and emotional regulation; the middle layer of emotional intelligence and self-awareness; and the deepest layer of soul. It is ‘Deeply’ Human® after all.

This is the gold winning state from which you can live, lead and work well. It is when you have reached this state that you can say you are truly fit to lead others and are guaranteed to be a force for good. And that’s what I would call a Deeply Human® leader.

And yes, it is hard work. But who said leadership was ever supposed to be easy?

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If you share my passion for creating more Deeply Human® organisations and you want to join our Deeply Human Culture Club, please email me here. It is free and is open to those who work inside organisations (not consultants / suppliers) and share the same purpose and value set.

If you want to reflect on how ‘Deeply Human®’ your leadership culture or your own leadership style are, why not take my short, free quiz? It will give you an initial sense of your strengths and areas on which to build. You can find it here.