This morning I received a text message from a male colleague wishing me Happy International Women’s Day. I was touched. What a lovely gesture, I thought. And it got me thinking about the role of kindness in organisations and communities.
I recently found myself injured, on my own and a long way from home. I had embarked on a mini personal development experiment (aka a holiday to a far away place) and was travelling in Central America when I tore my calf muscle very badly and was immobilised for the final week of my trip. What an insight it gave me into my own so very proud and independent identity, and the challenge I face in asking for help. Even more importantly perhaps, what an insight it gave me into the impact the kindness of strangers can have: a cold beer brought back to me by my day old buddies who had been out and about when I had been hammock bound (hard, I know); an immediate offer to help me into the alluring waters of the volcanic lake so I could swim, which I hadn’t been able to do on my own; a gift of a fan brought back from the market which I had so wanted to visit but had not been able to; a ride down to the beach on Christmas Day, otherwise impossible on crutches down a steep and rocky hill. And when I returned to London, the taxi driver who offered to go food shopping for me after he had helped me into my flat. They didn’t cost the givers much. But they were pure gold to me. Just as the lack of it jarred and jolted so badly: holidayers strolling past as I visibly struggled to get through a door; the sunbathers who refused to move, when politely asked if I could take the sunbed closest to the path.
Kindness in our societal communities, particularly urban ones, is not the norm, sadly. Kindness in our organisational communities even less so. Kindness does not, according to the traditional organisational paradigm, have much of a role in or relevance to corporate life. But in my world, in a Neon world, it has a central role to play in creating healthy organisations where people and business flourish. Kindness is key to developing human connection within and across teams in organisations, and doing the same in our relationships with our clients and with those communities in which we operate. It is part of the way in which we build social capital that is increasingly being recognised as so key to creating collaboration and high performance. Appreciation, a close relative of kindness, is another rare breed in most organisational cultures. We are so busy criticising and pointing out what is wrong, in our drive to “succeed”, that we often forget to appreciate what is right. And even more rarely do we take the time to express our appreciation of the people around us, the qualities they have and what they bring as a human being. I see time and time again in the work I do with leadership groups, what an impact appreciation can have in creating those bonds, building trust, bringing out the best in us. And what fear it can initially instil in people asked to express and receive it.
How much kindness and appreciation are there in your organisation? How much do they feature in your daily experience at work? Go on, there is still time today. Plenty, in fact. It only takes a moment. What will be your act of kindness or appreciation and for whom?