Earlier this week I went to see Dear England, the James Graham play about Gareth Southgate and his journey as the England men’s football manager. I had been told it was good and that I would like it but was not expecting to love it as much as I did, nor to laugh as much as I did. And I certainly didn’t expect to see so much of my own philosophy of Deeply Human leadership played out on the stage.
Signs of A Deeply Human Leader
I shouldn’t have been so surprised really. Southgate has stood out to me in the footballing world as someone who really cares for his players and who has a degree of emotional intelligence often missing in football (and not only football!). I remember being very moved by the photograph of him consoling Bukayo Saka after his missed penalty in the Euros. I was also struck by the vulnerability he showed when, after one match in the competition, he commented on seeing David Seaman up in the crowd and being reminded of how he had let his team mates down and how “That’s always going to hurt” in reference to his famous missed penalty in Euro 1996. He has made various statements indicating that there is more to life than football, such as in the Dear England letter he wrote after the pandemic, and that gave the play its name, when he wrote:
“It’s given us all a new understanding of the fragility of life and what really matters. When you think of the grand scheme of things, perhaps football doesn’t seem so important”.
And again, when Raheem Sterling had to leave the Euros to be with his family after people broke into his family home and Southgate commented:
“Of course, it’s not ideal for the group ahead of a big game,” he added, “but it pales into insignificance, the individual is more important than the group in those moments.”
So yes, I already had him down as a Deeply Human leader. But watching the play was almost like seeing a case study of my work with some client organisations where I am trying to help create a more Deeply Human culture in an environment which seems the antithesis of that.
Five Ways to Build a Deeply Human Culture
To my delight, all the main ingredients of creating a Deeply Human Culture were on display in the three hour spectacle.
Deepening a sense of individual and collective purpose (CLARITY OF PURPOSE)
Southgate gets each one of them – with their own personal background and experience – to think about what England means to them. Some of them didn’t know what the reference to the Three Lions meant. He helps them create a personal sense of connection and purpose with the importance of being in the team.
Strengthening relationship (CONNECTION)
It’s made clear that no one individual is more important than the group:- They are expected to support each other in success and failure; they learn how to express appreciation of each other; and Southgate does so much to create a strong sense of belonging for each player with each one coming to know his own unique place (and number) in the line of players that have ever worn the England shirt.
Awareness of impact (CONSCIOUSNESS)
Players are taught to take more responsibility for the way they behave with each other both on and off the pitch. They are supported to develop a sense of pride in the England shirt and a sense of responsibility for what that means. Southgate himself shares his own vulnerability about his own history of penalty shoot-outs in a way that makes a powerful impact in the dressing room.
Building belief (CREATIVITY)
The players’ (and the manager’s) fears are named and called out, pressure is alleviated to give players a better chance of bringing their best performance and a clear pathway to success is drawn up with precise time-specific goals to keep minds focussed on the prize.
Creating a culture of care and valuing people (CARE)
Investment is made in getting to know each of the players; they are valued for who they are, not just as a resource for the team. Their wellbeing matters and they are supported in moments of both victory and defeat.
All the elements of Deeply Human leadership were there.
Three Types of Resistance to Deeply Human Leadership
Just as the signs of Deeply Human leadership were there on stage, so too were the main types of resistance to this way of leading and running organisations that I experience so often.
Some of the things that we hear in and around the dressing room in the play are:
Enough of the Fluffy Stuff!
“Can’t we just get on with the football training now?” comes the frustrated cry of some of the players, as Southgate insists on holding sessions with them to explore mindset. At first, suggestions of deepening relationship through expressing appreciation to each other are met with uncomfortable banter that deflects attention from the unfamiliar task of saying something positive. There is the classic tumbleweed moment – which I have experienced so very many times in team sessions – when the words ‘love’ and even ‘feelings’ are used in the changing room. The men look like they want to climb out of their skins with horror.
Only Results Matter!
Probably the most common objection asserted to moving to a more human way of leading and working is that it is not a winning philosophy or approach. Many people believe that a winning mindset does not involve caring too much about your team nor thinking too much about how you feel. The belief is that a ruthless focus on task will get you there, and that a focus on feelings and mindset will not.
Some of Southgate’s fellow trainers – for whom his leadership philosophy is as new as it is to the players – struggle with the ‘niceness’ of it all. Their response to unsatisfactory performance is to criticise and to push harder. Southgate’s is to continue to maintain belief in his players and to trust that they are doing their best, while also making difficult decisions about team line-up when necessary – like when he tells Eric Dier he is being dropped from the side.
Southgate is as desperate to win as anyone. As he says in the Dear England letter:
“Of course my players and I will be judged on winning matches. Only one team can win the Euros. We have never done it before and we are desperate to do it for the first time.
Believe me.”
Technical Expertise is All That Matters
In the show, there is a female coach that Southgate handpicks to come and work with him and the squad on their mindset and culture. It really made me laugh to see the responses to her. In the main, the value of what she brings is initially dismissed or joked about because it’s not about the technicality of football. At one point Southgate castigates his team for dismissing her and reminds them that her expertise is about culture, mindset and feeling which is what they lack and need. The football coaching is also important but comes from elsewhere, he tells them.
Sometimes we see the two come together – like when the new approach to practising penalty shoot-outs involves everything from the receiving of the ball from the goalie and the interaction that takes place at that point, to the placing of the ball, to the pace of the run-up, to the facing into the fear, to the shot itself.
Dear Wider World of Work
In ‘Dear England’ we see the embodiment of Deeply Human Leadership through Gareth Southgate’s journey as the England football manager. His compassion, emotional intelligence, commitment to individual and collective growth and to success serve as an inspiring example for leaders everywhere. We may not have won a major tournament yet but we have been consistently better. Added to which, the squad has become more of a force for good on and off the pitch under Southgate’s tutelage which surely counts for more in the greater scheme of things.
Let’s all hope that his approach finally gets the rewards it deserves in the upcoming Euros. And in the meantime, let us all take our own one step closer to becoming deeply human leaders in our respective fields and creating organisations that really enable people to bring their best performance and have a positive impact in the wider world.
If it can be done in the world of men’s football, it can be done anywhere!
Take my Deeply Human scorecard to find out how close you are and where you might need to focus next.