For as long as I can remember, I have been encouraged to “make things happen”. I have been taught that good things happen if I take the initiative and make a certain effort. Words like ‘capable’ and ‘competent’ have often been used of me and have been meant as compliments. I have internalised this programming over time and believed it necessary to be that pro-active ‘go getter’ that does not sit around, in good times or bad, but who leaps into action and somehow takes control of the situation.
But increasingly I am of the view that this is not entirely right. Or at least, it can be useful in moderation, but very much needs to be balanced with a contrasting energy of ‘allowing’ and ‘unfolding’. There has been no better lesson in this than that provided in the last seven months.
These COVID times are hugely demanding. They are messing with us all on every level, in ways we can’t even yet fully compute. We are having to surrender any mirage of control we may previously have had about our lives and just roll with it. I know that something is underway in me. I cannot begin to articulate what it is exactly, but I know that these times are inviting something different from me and that I will emerge from this time changed in some way. I know that I am being marked by these times, and that my ways of being are being reshaped by the tides of the pandemic. There is little I can do about it, other than try my best to take care of myself along the way and create a way of life that takes this into account, that promotes self-care and community and creativity as tools which I know serve me. In this way, I am honing my own personal art of becoming.
This weekend my task was to think up ways of rewarding myself for what had been a hard week of work. I used social media to reach out and ask people for advice. I now have a long list of ‘treats’ I can indulge in when I feel like it, a way of looking after myself, being kind to myself and appreciating my own efforts. It was also to get outside and be in the Autumn light, to cook and write a bit, as creative practices that enhance my sense of wellbeing; and to connect with some of the people dear to me. Nature, creativity and community are precious and powerful resources. I feel restored.
There is an art to the process of becoming. This is what our programme – The Art of Becoming – starting next year for women anywhere in the world, is all about. Will you join us?