I spent most of this week co-facilitating a leadership programme with a group from the financial services sector. It was a wonderful experience that lifted my spirits and left me feeling moved, fulfilled and grateful.
And yet again I was struck by the extent of the cruelty we level at ourselves (and often, therefore, to others), usually without realising, through the vicious self-talk that keeps us limited and small and “worse than”. I was also struck by the simplicity of the choices we can make to change that and to welcome in a different way of being that can impact so significantly on self as well as on the wider culture of a team or organisation. So many delegates expressed apprehension about how they would be able to maintain the shift they had experienced, in their day to day work roles. My request was simple: just give yourself permission to be the way you have been here. Reflect on those areas where you do and do not give yourself permission. Notice the difference between the permission you give yourself at home, and the permission you extend to yourself at work. And get curious about it. How is it serving you and how is it holding you back? What would become possible if you gave yourself one or two notches more of permission? What difference would that make, to you and to those you lead and work with?
Someone in the group referred to himself as a “task frenzied idiot” in a moment of epiphany. How many companions he has in that world, I have no doubt. I have been one myself. And still take myself there on occasions, before I catch myself and bring myself back.
But think what a difference it would make if all of those folk in the corporate world, gave themselves that little bit more permission to be human, to feel, to be, to connect. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the place where people flourish and performance goes through the roof.