Prompted in part by a recent guest podcast appearance, I have been pondering on what it means to be happy at work, whose responsibility it is and what we can do about it. I also offer a free tool for you to download and use to help you answer this question for yourself.
What does being happy at work mean to me?
When I appeared on Aoife O’Brien’s ‘Happier at Work’ podcast a couple of months ago, she asked me the question she asks all her guests at the end of the show, namely: “What does being happier at work mean to you?”
My answer was that doing meaningful work that makes a difference in the world, is what makes me happy at work. I also talked about the importance of freedom and autonomy in my working life. And finally I expressed how important it is to me that my work draws on my head, heart and soul – on all of who I am and what I have to offer (not just my brain).
As I sit back and reflect on that answer now, the importance of those three elements really hits home. They really do matter so much to me. There are other things too – like the ability to learn and grow; variety; opportunities to work with interesting people that I admire; the opportunity to travel. Ha ha! My list is long! But really those three things that I mentioned in my conversation with Aoife are the top three.
Is it possible to want too much?
My conclusion is that I ask a lot from my work life. It doesn’t surprise me. I ask a lot from life. So why would work be any different? It’s a feature of who I am and one that means I can engage with spirit and energy a lot of the time, create new things, give a lot and experience a lot. But it is also something I need to keep an eye on, as it can get me into difficulty if I’m not careful. Wanting too much and struggling to be content with what you have is not a pathway to happiness. Instead it can generate pressure for you and those around you (in and out of work). It can lead to frustration, exhaustion and even burn-out. It can lead to you constantly chasing an ever-changing goal post and when did that ever lead somewhere good?
What does being happy at work mean for other people?
In the same part of the conversation with Aoife, I go on to talk about what I have learned from some of the people I have worked with over the years who have greeted my questions about ‘purpose at work’ with a puzzled expression. For some, it really is enough to have a quiet enough life at work, to do what is required, and get home as quickly as possible to be with the family, to pay the mortgage and that’s that. It is easy to forget that for some people, just having a job at all is enough. I saw a quote from Sam Harris of the meditation app ‘Waking Up’ this morning which seemed very fitting:
There are at least a billion people on earth who would consider their prayers answered if they could trade places with you.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t get to define what being happy at work means to you but it is a helpful reminder in those moments when you don’t feel like you are getting it.
If we apply Maslow’s hierarchy of need to the question of happiness at work, the bottom level would be the basic need to earn enough money to pay the bills and put a roof over your and your family’s head. Right at the top would be the degree of purpose, meaning and fulfilment of personal potential that ‘self-actualisation’ represents. Not everyone gets a shot at the top. But some people do and why should it not be you?
Asking the question is the first step
After two decades of engaging people in enquiries about meaning at work, I’ve also realised that not everyone has taken the time to ask themselves the question. Often people fall into careers, rather than actively choose them. Or even if they choose early on, their definitions of what ‘good’ looks like, changes over time. Most people I have coached haven’t asked themselves what really matters to them at work for a long time. And then when they do, they feel stuck. Years have passed and they suddenly start realising – usually in their mid-to late 30s – that they are bored or even unhappy at work. Many have a nagging sense of wanting something different, even if they’ve no idea what that is.
This is often the point at which people find me and embark on a process of catching up with themselves and the person they have become since they last considered what might make them happy at work. This is the process of coaching and the start of creating a new beginning in their career.
And if that’s how it goes for you, that’s absolutely fine; making big changes at that stage of life is a common feature of the (early) mid-life crisis. But what if you could pre-empt that ‘crisis’ of sorts? What might that look like?
Taking responsibility for your happiness at work
Most organisations and businesses that I have ever worked with, are imperfect when it comes to people development. And that needs to improve. But many individuals that I have worked with could also do better in terms of taking responsibility for their own happiness at work. And the first step is putting in the time and effort to get clear on what it is that you want from your working life. The following are all useful questions to consider:
- How much meaning or purpose do you want to derive from your work and are you getting that?
- What is the ratio of work to life that feels right for you?
- How much does connection and belonging matter to you vs autonomy and independence?
- How important is money and how much money is enough?
- What is your appetite for learning and how is this being met?
- How important is it to you that you are stimulated mentally, creatively or some other way?
- How do you want to feel at work or about your work?
- What kind of contribution do you want to make (to your job, to the wider world)?
In amongst these questions, there are likely to be some big trade-offs for you to make between for example, how much money you want to earn vs how many hours you want to put in vs the importance of your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing vs how much of a contribution you want to make. There is unlikely to be a perfect solution.
The role of your line manager in your happiness at work
One of the people who should be engaging you in some of these questions is your line manager. They have a part to play in the process, balancing, as they do, the needs of the organisation with your needs. But no matter how good they are at this part of their job, they cannot and should not do it for you. You have to do the work first. Once you have answered some key questions, you can perhaps start making requests in terms of role development or access to different experiences etc. This can lead to fruitful conversations with your line manager.
Sometimes you might conclude that this particular job, culture, organisation or sector is no longer for you and that you need to look elsewhere. And that’s ok too. It simply means it’s time for a change and you can start turning your attention to that.
The Neon ‘Work Thriveometer’
I passionately want for people to enjoy their work and get something meaningful from it. I hate the idea that people toil away at work for 80,000 hours of their life and get little or no satisfaction, learning, meaning or joy from it. I believe that having the opportunity to aspire to more, is a position of privilege. But I also believe that more of us need to take responsibility for what we want and need from work, by taking the time to think about it.
To that end, I developed the ‘Neon Work Thriveometer’. It is a simple model based on my research and experience of coaching people on the topic of happiness and fulfilment at work. It sets out ten factors that contribute to happiness at work and invites you to score each one. Based on the score you give each one, you can then go on identify the areas you wish to either;
- ‘Maintain’ as they are – because they are good shape;
- ‘Nurture’ – because they need some investment of help or change; or
- ‘Plant’ (put in place) – because they are currently absent or lacking.
In the bottom section you then highlight three next steps you will take to increase your ability to thrive at work.
There are a number of different ways you can use it:
- On you own to help you reflect on how happy you are at work (whether you are employed or self-employed) and what you may need to ask for or change in order to thrive more in your work
- As a line manager for you to offer to those you manage as part of the process of supporting their development and professional fulfilment
- With you coach, as part of a coaching process that is focussing on career change or finding the next step in your working life.
Someone wrote to me recently to say:
I used your Neon Thriveometer in an objective setting meeting with my line manager today. It was a great tool to focus the conversation on what I need to do differently and what I need from the company for me to thrive and for us both to benefit. Thanks so much for putting it out there
The tool is freely available for you to use. You can download it here and maybe spend some time this evening working through it. It might just bring about the clarity you need to have a different kind of conversation with your boss, your coach or indeed with yourself about the next step you need to take in order to increase your happiness at work. I think that would be time well spent.