January is almost over and I wonder how you have all navigated one of the gloomiest months of the year in the Northern Hemisphere when our energy and wellbeing are usually at a low ebb. While I do believe that the new year serves as a good a pretext as any to reflect and reset, I also understand that for many, the energy to do that is simply just not there at this time.
It’s a bit like the response I had to my Dry January announcement. “Why do that in January of all months when we need all the help we can get?!”
But I did take the opportunity to set a few intentions at the turn of the year and they really are making a difference. Giving up alcohol, combined with exercising every day and booking a few adventures has led to me sleeping consistently through the night. For me this is genuinely life changing. I am waking up naturally feeling refreshed, my mood is consistently good and I feel energised and positive. Usually I wake between 3-5am, go back to sleep and then feel exhausted when my alarm goes off around 7.
But the purpose of this post is not to sing my own praises. I actually want to talk about employee wellbeing and wellbeing more generally. Let’s face it, how ‘well’ we are at work is surely linked to how ‘well’ we are out of work. But what does it look like and whose responsibility is it to make it a reality?
What is Employee Wellbeing?
These days there is so much more talk about employee wellbeing. It is widely recognised – and evidenced – that the downward trend in employee wellbeing is worrying. Levels of stress, disengagement and burn-out are up and one has to wonder when the ‘resource’ that is our workforce is going to run out. We are burning through our people at a rate of knots, just as we are burning through some of our other natural resources on the planet.
Much is written about what organisations can do to change this trend. From four-day weeks to employee wellbeing days, yoga classes, on-site therapists, flexible working and – in the case of my particular soap box – leadership, there is much discussed and certainly much more still to be done.
What is less written about and perhaps less popular, is what we as individuals can do differently in order to improve our own wellbeing at work. This is what I want to focus on in this post.
Self-Responsibility
I want to be clear from the start that I do not come from the ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ school of thought. As an ex-social worker who spent ten years working with marginalised groups, I am very clear that we need more Deeply Human systems and organisations that have cultures of compassion and care for those working or living within them.
But I do also believe that we have a duty of self-care and a responsibility for ourselves as adults. Without this, we hand over our agency to those systems, enabling a parent-child dynamic that is surely not healthy for anyone.
That’s why Neon’s ‘Employee Wellbeing Equation’ has ‘Self-Responsibility’ embedded within it.
But what does that mean in reality?
The Insecure Overachiever
Laura Empson’s book, ‘Leading Professionals’, is about leadership in professional services. In Chapter 6 she talks specifically about ‘insecure overachievers’ as a particular group that often seek out careers in professional services. She explores the ways in which some organisations deliberately exploit the ambition and insecurity of this group in order to serve the success of the business. It makes for a disturbing read. She refers to a conversation with one HR Director in which she asks her whether she is in effect operating like a drug dealer, seeking out vulnerable people and getting them hooked on a high-status identity. She describes the HR Director’s response in the following way:
“The insecure overachievers needed to demonstrate their success. Her firm was helping them fulfil that need. And everyone got extremely rich as a result – at least those who survived the culls.”
The Characteristics of the Insecure Overachiever
So what are the characteristics of the insecure overachiever? Here is a list of some possible characteristics: –
- Someone who is very capable but doubts their ability
- Someone who needs the validation that comes from external success in order to feel ‘ok’ in themselves
- Someone who constantly pushes themselves harder because they believe that they are only as good as their next achievement
- Someone whose self-worth is intrinsically linked to being part of a high-status organisation
- Someone whose drive and ambition push them to the point of compromising their own physical or mental health.
Do you recognise yourself at all in that list? I know that when I started my consulting career, I exhibited a few of those characteristics. And I see many of them among my corporate clients. I also see an equivalent version of this profile in the not -for-profit world. In this world, the urge is to overcome that same insecurity through a drive to fulfil a sense of vocation. This can result in a martyr-like mindset that sacrifices self-care for the greater good. Burn-out is often the result.
Trying to unpack the symbiotic relationship between this personality profile and an organisational paradigm is tricky. Organisations and their leaders have a lot of work to do to reinvent their cultures. But individuals also need to do their own personal work to address some of the patterns that underpin their behaviours and choices, if they are to take care of themselves and their wellbeing.
Seven Questions that will Transform Your Wellbeing at Work
I have identified seven powerful questions that you can ask yourself that could help you improve your own wellbeing at work (and in life). None of them are easy ‘quick fix’ questions. But taking the time to reflect on them, might give you some ideas about changes you could make that could open up a whole new pathway to living and working well:
What is your definition of success and to what extent is this facilitating or hindering your wellbeing?
Many of us are caught in a paradigm of success that is defined by status, power and doing / being ‘more’. This can be an infinite journey to the ‘island where it all works out’. But what if you could redefine success in a way that enables you to find a deeper sense of satisfaction?
How clear are you about your boundaries?
Having clear boundaries is essential for wellbeing. We must learn to make choices that help us be healthy and happy, rather than ones that compromise our emotional and physical health, and our relationships with those we love. That means being clear about what we will and will not take on, what we will and will not tolerate, what we will and will not do. It means being clear about our ‘yes’ and ‘no’. And defending those boundaries skilfully.
What is your relationship with your inner critic?
So many people have a voice in their head that tells them that they are not good enough. It can vary in intensity but can be a very real barrier to feeling good, happy or confident and can lead us to push ourselves to an unhealthy degree. While I am not sure it’s possible to eradicate that voice, I know that it is possible to build a different relationship with it that makes for greater mental wellbeing. I see it with many clients I coach.
How often do you ask for help?
Some people really struggle with asking for help. Maybe they are the oldest child. Maybe they took on considerable responsibilities when they were young. Maybe they were never offered help or were told that they needed to do it all on their own. Whatever the reason, an inability to ask for help – in and out of work – can lead to serious difficulty, pressure and even breakdown.
What are you choosing and is this right for you?
This may sound like a simple question but is such a powerful one because it reminds us of the agency we do have in being or not being in the situation in which we find ourselves. Sometimes a job, an organisation or a line of work are no longer right for us. Sometimes it’s time to find the courage to make a different choice and create a new beginning.
What ‘healthy habits’ or practices do you have in your life that support your wellbeing?
This is about getting the basics right. It is about sleep, exercise, alcohol, diet and relaxation. It is about having people and passions in your life that energise you. It is about knowing what you need to do to nurture yourself, and then doing it. Because nobody else can do that for you.
What lights you up?
And last but by no means least, I want to talk about ‘purpose’. I don’t believe we were put on this planet for a specific reason. But I do know that when you find a way of living and working that is shaped by a passion or a focus that light you up, it can change everything. It may shift and change over time. It may sometimes feel elusive. It doesn’t have to be a shiny statement. It doesn’t have to be earth shattering. But I can testify to the fact – from my own and my coachees’ experience – that the effort you put into this could be the most rewarding work of your life.
Employee Wellbeing: A Partnership
I really care about people being well both in and out of work. I believe passionately in the need to improve the way in which we run our organisations (across sectors and industries) and the role that leaders must play in making that a reality.
I also believe that we have a responsibility for our own wellbeing. It is not necessarily easy but I am sure there is so much more that many of us can do.
If this resonates with you either because you are a leader who wants to make more of a difference in the workplace, or if you want help learning to make different choices and taking better care of yourself, email me here or book a ‘no strings’ call. You can also find two free worksheets here that will help you review your well-being in life and work and identify those areas that need attention.
Don’t wait too long. Your well-being needs you.